Week 3 day 7: I don't wanna weigh in tomorrow!

A'salaamu alaikum ya'll. I feel like a big fat F for failure. Or F for fat, works both ways. :-) I ended my week -5 points. Yep, -5 meaning I used ALL my discretionary points plus 5 I didn't have. Now I have been alot more active this week which technically entitles me to exchange my activity for points for more food if necessary. I didn't exercise but went out in the snow 2 times (seriously it was hard! lol) and had some other projects which typically use more energy than I normally expend.

I really don't want to go to weigh-in tomorrow. I will haaaaate to see a) I lost nothing or b) I gained!!!! Oh the horror! Because... even though I slipped up a bit I still did soooo much better than I was doing before! As I said, at breakfast alone I usually skip 1 turkey sausage and 1 egg, that's 200 calories there. IF I get something out I get the smallest sandwich and a small fry (maybe once a week that happens). I really keep myself from just eating what I want.

Oooooooooh noooooooo! I just remembered I had a lindt chocolate truffle. Arghhhhhhhh! I don't wanna know the points for it! (sigh) 

OK a positive thing is the fact that I am not stressed like a true stressed, I'll just eat exactly as I want, I have size 20 pants, no worries kinda stressed. I still paid attention and limited from what I might have normally done. I have come to the solid conclusion I don't normally eat so much as eat things that individually have alot of needless calories.

I am not giving up sisters. I will persevere and insha'Allah will succeed. I think a huge thing for me will be to set an exercise time and just stick with it. I have a hard time carving out "me" time. Yeah, like most women. :-) Exercise, although as I said before can be done in the gym here RIGHT DOWN THE FLIPPIN' HALL, takes me out of the home. Where I have some unruly stepkids and a cute little 2 yr old who says "mama, mama, you are nice, i love you so much, you are my life". Wallah, she said that. So you can imagine how hard it is for me to say, ok I'm going down the hall, no you can't come, stay here...

Ummmm as I type that I see how silly it is but what can I say? I'm 38 and this is my last baby and by gosh I'll baby her!!!! Actually she is very independent and self-actualized. (That's a snobbish word and I'm kinda sorry I used it. lol. But not sorry enough to erase it cause it's funnier to leave it and type this loooong explanation. :-D) 

Don't remember where I was going with that so I'll just sign off and please sisters, make dua for me that Allah gives me the strength to succeed. Amin!!!!!!! Ma salaama ya'll.....